HEAVEN BOUND PAUL, AND MY "ROOT" DISCOVERY...

Greetings -

After the Paul, Dee and me drama, some months later, Paul got seriously ill.  He was living elsewhere with a platonic female acquaintance in much less than ideal conditions.  I continued to reside at the apartment unit that Paul and I had moved into after our departure from the shelter.

Paul became so ill that by the time he went to the emergency room for treatment, his condition was dire and they kept him.  Only GOD kept Paul alive.  My heart went out to him.  We remained in deep care for one another.   After Dee, Paul didn't get another steady girlfriend, and to date, he still hasn't engaged in another committed relationship.  It has been more than five years.  That is unusual for him, but GOD...

Anyhow, I felt led of our Lord to invite Paul to move in with me as a roommate.  People would believe otherwise, but I knew that our Lord told me to do it, mainly because of Paul's health.  All of his family is in Connecticut. 

I have no romantic inclinations relative to Paul.  He is, in my heart, a family member.  We do not now live together nor do we communicate frequently because he is not walking with our Lord.  But when our Lord leads me, I phone him and on occasion, he phones me.  Paul is not particularly receptive to hearing about our Lord, and eventually the Lord told me to stop preaching to Paul.  The Lord told me that I can feed him on occasion so when I cook, he comes to get a plate sometimes.  Every now and then, the Lord will release me to discuss the gospel with Paul but only in brief comments.  There are "moments" when Paul is receptive.  

Over the years, on numerous occasions, the Lord has promised me that Paul shall enter into the kingdom of heaven.  The Lord also told me that Paul shall preach.  I don't get the sense that it will be in a pulpit setting.  I told Paul.  And imagine my surprise when PMQ commented here on February 9th under the post topic, "Part 4 - ...HE LEFT ME AND MOVED IN WITH THE WOMAN NEXT DOOR..."  PMQ commented, "...I surmise that Paul became a Pastor?"  PMQ had no idea that I had been told by our Lord more than a year ago that Paul would preach.  I later shared that with Paul and asked him if he remembered the time that I told him that he was going to preach.  He stated that he remembered.   

Paul even told me one day that he knows that GOD will get him in right relationship with HIM.  Paul shared with me some months ago that when he was about fourteen, he was in church on the regular and that he got "happy" in the Lord.  All the years that I was with Paul, I never knew about that.  I thought that he had had his first real church experiences when he attended church during my time with him when I was backslidden. 

I had a dream last year that Paul and I were in the same church service seated in different areas.  In the dream, Paul got happy in the Lord and was sincerely into the service.  I phoned and told Paul about the dream.  He didn't give much of a response, but we know that our Lord does things in hearts that we don't know.  I hold onto the promise that our Lord gave me that Paul shall enter into the kingdom of heaven.    

Back tracking...

Initially, Paul refused my offer to move in as my roommate.  Some weeks later he returned to the unit.  He lived in one room and I lived in another.  This went on for about two years.  We both continued in our government jobs - until, after more than five years,
my term was not renewed. 

I was out of a job - me, one of the employees who had received a "Customer Service Excellence Award" from Mayor Williams, written and verbal commendations from citizens, and numerous written commendations from management.  How could that be?!  I was in league with our Lord, and daily in His Word, and in prayer.

The situation rocked me hugely.  My depression was major.  For more in detail about that season, please click the link here
http://lioneaglesoar.blogspot.com/2011/01/bonus-in-pink.html.  It tells of the love and power of our Lord in my deliverance from the pain of the transition.  Deep gratitude is what I now have for that journey.

Thanks be unto GOD for His gentle and tender care during that season of despair.  There were days that I was so pained that all I could do was whisper, "JESUS."  For weeks I went through motions in a detached frame of heart and mind.  

I clearly remember how our Lord told me that He was not expecting me to be strong in Him but to trust Him - day by day.  Our Lord didn't ask much of me except to hold on to Him and to trust Him.  GOD knew that I didn't have much to give Him.  He so lovingly understood, and assured me that He did.

Paul helped as he could but as one who was not walking with GOD, he was limited.  My grief was prolonged.  Paul expressed to me his inability to understand as he had always known me to be "strong" (for the most part) and driven.  He couldn't comprehend the deflated, shell of a person, Sandra.        

For awhile, I wouldn't even go outside.  Eventually, our Lord strengthened me.  He gave my "wind" back to me, people.  As I write this, I cry with gratitude because only GOD knows how He brought me back to life.  Glory to His awesome name!  NOBODY can convince me that GOD is not a soul restorer, a heart healer, a mind renewer, and a very present help in times of trouble.  Many of you have your stories that surely attest to what GOD can do!  Yes, indeed, His goodness and mercy follows... - Psalm 23:6.

After awhile, our Lord sent me to Charleston, South Carolina.  If you are inclined to read details about that, please click on this link http://lioneaglesoar.blogspot.com/2011/01/gods-adventure-for-me-in-charleston.html.  After Charleston, I was led to Tampa, Florida (I will write more about Florida on another post soon.)

After Florida, I detoured again to the house of one of my sisters.  Again, suffice it to say that her husband and I did not "gel."  My job searches didn't result in work.  Unemployment compensation was my source of income.  It wasn't enough for independent living so off I went again to shelter dwelling.  I wasn't depressed, as our Lord had strengthened me and given me firm confidence in Him.  He always has a MASTER plan. 

I made calls to various shelters and they stated that they didn't have vacancies.  The last shelter that I contacted, named Harriet Tubman, was the one that our Lord had for me.  What I found out later about the Harriet Tubman building made me laugh then, and causes me to smile now.  Harriet Tubman is on the campus of a former full service hospital.  I knew that, and I also knew that I was born in the subject hospital.  What I discovered one day as I sat in the hallway of the shelter was that that precise building was the OB-GYN the many years ago when I was born there!  I cracked up in laughter when another shelter resident shared the OB-GYN information with me.  Later I observed the OB-GYN signage that was still on the wall in the building.  

I know that our Lord didn't allow vacancies for me at the other shelters because He specifically wanted me back where I began.  The last shelter I contacted, Harriet Tubman, was a return to my "roots!"  The full spiritual implications are not clear to me.    

To be continued...

Sandra

Written Wednesday February 16, 2011

Copyright 2011

Below are links to the four part post titled, "...HE LEFT ME AND MOVED IN WITH THE WOMAN NEXT DOOR..."

Part 1 - http://lioneaglesoar.blogspot.com/2011/02/he-left-me-and-moved-in-with-woman-next.html

Part 2 - http://lioneaglesoar.blogspot.com/2011/02/part-2-of-he-left-me-and-moved-in-with.html

Part 3 - http://lioneaglesoar.blogspot.com/2011/02/part-3-he-left-me-and-moved-in-with.html

Part 4 - http://lioneaglesoar.blogspot.com/2011/02/part-4-he-left-me-and-moved-in-with.html