DANCE OF FIRE
I wrote the content on this blog with sincere and holy intentions with the knowledge that I had at the time... We live, learn and amend...as errors are exposed and more truths are revealed...
Only GOD is perfect. It's vital that you seek the Lord to expose any errors that you've embraced. Please ask Him to expose any areas of darkness to you and for what is necessary to do to dispossess what's NOT of truth.
Flames of fire dance joyfully as dreams of fervor conjure up images of red hot passion for the gusto of life.
Sizzle, spark, explode -
Fireballs light up the sky. Wow! a thunder flash with a clap -
The flames are vivid with the awesome glow of orange colors blended with yellow highlights that accent the blaze.
This display is the bomb torched with a rocket plan. Such rapture has lit our fire. We are dynamite on this journey.
Come on fire, fall on us. Pour your liquid potency. Ignite our souls that we may be engulfed with magnified intensity.
Blow up our hearts. Dance with us....
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Tuesday, February 8, 2011
PART 3 - ...HE LEFT ME AND MOVED IN WITH THE WOMAN NEXT DOOR...
This is Part 3. If you haven't read Parts 1 and 2, and are inclined to do so, please note that they were posted here on February 5, 2011 and February 7, 2011.
Scriptural content is from the King James Bible.
Last paragraph...from Part 2:
I had a "hunch" that Paul's "love" interest (I'll call her Dee) lived somewhere in the neighborhood. We lived on a block of four-unit buildings. Paul and I both had work shifts from 7:00 - 3:30. One workday morning, the Lord told me to go stand outside on the front. I believe that I stood out there for about 30 minutes. Then - out walked Paul from the building next door! When he saw me, the deep hurt on his face was obvious. He was deeply hurt that he had hurt me. Of course, when Satan consumes us, we succumb in spite of the pain caused to others. Paul implored me to go back into the building, as he didn't want me to see him get in and drive Dee's vehicle to work (later I found out that she didn't work and was getting, I believe, Worker's Comp due to a back injury.) I refused to go inside and stood there until Paul drove off.
I was shook to the core of my being. My heartache was massive.
PART 3 BEGINS:
In essence, for about two weeks, all I had the heart strength to do was to drive to work, perform my job, and come home to the misery that had camped in my soul. At one point, I spoke to my manager about my breakup (no details provided.) She graciously allowed me to take three days off to regroup. My immediate supervisor wrote me a wonderful poem that clearly had "medicinal properties." One of my
co-workers gave me a sermon on tape to view. It provided comfort indeed.
I have a very small circle of friends, most of who have been in my life for years. Friendship is of major value to me. Even when I was in the world, I had a very small circle of friends because I placed, and still place a high standard on the definition of friendship. Particularly, it deeply disturbs me when friendships are abused. My firm belief is that friendships have to be proven relative to all involved parties. Our Lord mandates us to love and to forgive but He does NOT mandate that we "blanket" trust people. I'm sure that others have had their share of being "burned" by so-called friends. The result for me is that I'm wary until proven otherwise.
My friends were so there for me during this episode. My family members provided comfort, as well. In particular, one of my sisters was of immense spiritual strength, comfort and help. Thank you, JESUS! I made sure to let all of my comforters know how much I appreciated their love, care, and aid.
Even some of Paul's friends were obviously displeased with what he had done.
Ok, now more on Dee and this "love" triangle situation. Paul and I had lived in the subject neighborhood for about six years. After then, Dee moved into the neighborhood - only a few months before Paul's cheat "engagement." Dee moved in during the winter when people tend to "hibernate" because of the cold weather. So I had never even seen her before the drama unfolded.
What follows here is what I did relative to Dee. As you read, some of you may think that some of what I did was not spiritual or conduct becoming of a Christian. As I was in process of writing this today, the Lord gave me this scripture from Romans 13:4, "For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil." Had our Lord appointed me as a revenger? I believe so. There may be disagreement...but hang in here with me, please, people.
A bit at a time, Paul moved his belongings next door. The furniture and household items were mine from what I had from my previous apartment prior to my shelter detour and introduction to Paul.
Paul had Daryl, who lived in the same building as Dee, to help him. Later I found out that Daryl was a backslidden Christian who was a crack addict. He knew Dee from a previous neighborhood and that she had a reputation for being ""bad business for men."
This was the arrangement in the building next door: Daryl and his girlfriend (I'll call her Tina) lived on the second floor in her Section 8 (government subsidized) unit. Daryl had been granted a Section 8 unit across the hall. He allowed Dee to move into his unit for an agreed upon rent payment. That practice is in violation of the Section 8 policy but that is what Daryl did.
Daryl is now deceased. He passed about a year after this matter ended. At the beginning of this "soap opera," I thought that Dee lived in her own apartment unit. I learned from Daryl that it was his unit.
Paul later told me that, from the outset, he had asked Dee to search for another apartment unit because of their close proximity to me. He didn't get any indication from her that she had proceeded to search for another place.
One day, I saw Dee sitting in the front of their building. I felt led of the Lord to go out to her. I said to her in a kind tone, "Are you Paul's friend?" She had this "blow you off" expression. She acknowledged that she was Paul's friend. I said to her, "I'm Sandra." She looked disinterested.... I walked back into my unit.
One night, I saw Paul getting out of the driver's side of Dee's vehicle. I went out to ask him a question relative to some mutual business. Unbeknownst to me, Dee was in the window. She spoke out something to Paul. That pretty much "dismissed" me. I went inside. Later Dee phoned and told me to stay away from her vehicle. At that stage, my wounds were still fresh. She coldly addressed me on that call. All I could muster to say was a weak, "thank you" and hung up the phone. Later when stronger, I thought, I was standing on public space in front of her vehicle. She had the nerve to call me about staying away from her vehicle parked on public space!
Dee began to persecute me. One day, I came out to go to work and photos of me that had been given to Paul were spread on the front where I lived. I gathered the photos. Later that afternoon I drove to where I knew Paul would be and expressed to him about the photo matter. He was visibly upset that Dee had gone into his belongings and done what she did with the photos of me. He desired to have the photos back in his possession. I gave them to him. Later, Paul informed me that he and Dee argued about the photo matter.
Some days later my upstairs neighbor gave me some photos of me that he had found out in front of our building. Dee had again thrown them out there.
Paul continued to call me on occasion. He informed me that Dee was obsessively jealous of me, and the feelings that he obviously continued to have for me. I was very surprised. I said to him something like, "Why is she jealous of me when she has you over there?" He responded that she was aware that he still cared deeply for me and that that "ate" at her.
The police made a domestic disturbance visit to Dee's place relative to her and Paul. Paul later told me that he and Dee had had a heated argument. She had spoken something against me. He defended me. She became furious.
Some days later, the Lord had me to write a "prophetic" letter to Paul. I no longer have the letter but I remember some parts of it. The content included something like this: "The Devil sent Dee to you. The Lord is not going to allow you to continue in a relationship with Dee at the expense of my hurt. The Lord is going to break up you and Dee."
I urged Paul, in the letter, to heed what it stated to avoid GOD's further anger. I listed several things which I won't go into here. I informed that if he didn't cease with Dee that the listed things would happen to him. Paul didn't heed...and later each one of those painful things happened to him. Later, after maybe two weeks, Paul called and asked me if I had put a curse on him - the prophetic things had all came to pass. I told him no. I clarified to him that, in the letter, he was given a choice. He chose wrong and as a result those things came upon him. Don't we all relate to the consequences of our disobedience?
Later I found out from Daryl that Paul had shown the letter to Dee and that she went ballistic which resulted in another domestic disturbance visit from the police. Daryl also told me that Paul had shown him the letter. He advised Paul to heed the contents.
After my two week "hibernation," the Lord told me that it was time to stop "hiding" and "nursing" my pain. It was time to go outside - for real. For those two weeks, I had kept the blinds closed because I couldn't bear to face that I would see Dee and Paul together. That "new" day, the Lord told me to open the blinds. He further told me that every time I looked out and saw Dee and Paul or just Dee, to go outside on the front. That is what I did.
Later Paul informed me that my presence, in that regard, was deeply "eating" at Dee. One day I drove up and Dee, Paul, and a few other people were sitting on their front. Normally, I would park my car in front of my building. The Lord told me to park, this time, in front of their building and to walk by them to go into my building. In route, I spoke to Paul. He responded, albeit, weakly.
Later on another day, Paul phoned to tell me that Dee had forbidden him to speak to me because she considered it disrespectful to her. I couldn't believe that he would agree to such a request. That was not the Paul that I knew. Satan does a number on us when we yield to him, indeed.
Paul continued to phone me on occasion, but wouldn't speak to me in Dee's presence. The Lord didn't forbid me to accept Paul's calls. GOD was going somewhere with this...
On another day, Paul phoned to give me his new cell phone number. He emphasized how jealous Dee was of me. He shared that she was very insecure. During the course of his time with Dee, he shared things with me about her past (I'll share a bit on that later.)
One evening Paul, Dee, and some others were out in front of their building, and I was sitting in the front of mine. Dee began to loudly share how she and Paul had visited his hometown in Connecticut. She went on to loudly share about the content of some photos that they had taken. She expressed something like, "This is me and Paul and his sister." On and on she loudly shared, purposely to hurt me.
That did it - it was on...!
To be continued...
Previews of Part 4:
Reversal of fortune
GOD is not mocked...His Word does not return void...
Written Tuesday February 8, 2011