I wrote the content on this blog with sincere and holy intentions with the knowledge that I had at the time... We live, learn and errors are exposed and more truths are revealed...

Only GOD is perfect. It's vital that you seek the Lord to expose any errors that you've embraced. Please ask Him to expose any areas of darkness to you and for what is necessary to do to dispossess what's NOT of truth.



Flames of fire dance joyfully as dreams of fervor conjure up images of red hot passion for the gusto of life.

Sizzle, spark, explode -

Fireballs light up the sky. Wow! a thunder flash with a clap -

The flames are vivid with the awesome glow of orange colors blended with yellow highlights that accent the blaze.

This display is the bomb torched with a rocket plan. Such rapture has lit our fire. We are dynamite on this journey.

Come on fire, fall on us. Pour your liquid potency. Ignite our souls that we may be engulfed with magnified intensity.

Blow up our hearts. Dance with us....


Copyright 2010


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Saturday, September 25, 2010


How many of us are in continuance mode with relationships that are dead weight associations? I mean they add nothing to us but certainly subtract from our positive progressive journeys. The subject relationships could be relative to friends, acquaintances,  and dating associations. I do not exclude from these descriptions some  “Christian” connections which can also prove hazardous to godliness.

Our Lord does appoint us to minister to the dead and instructs us to be mindful that we were once dead ourselves. It is, however, crucial to be in tune with our Father to discern when to move on as the Spirit leads. My experience has been to linger too long where I should have cancelled some “subscriptions” to relationship “magazines.” Fool that I was, I remained in the “pages” well after the expiration dates. Hampered spirituality was the result when I continued engagements where I no longer had any business.

We can allow vice grips on our emotions that cause us to cling to toxic connections. Why do we cling? The reasons vary. Fear readily comes to mind. We can fear the absence of the entanglements. Granted, the entanglements are toxic but we foolishly desire them, regardless. Often, we are afraid to disengage. We have become accustomed to the presence. Inner battles rage.

We know better but are afraid to do better. What will it mean? What can replace them? Reluctance is stronger than logic.  There is hope. Undoubtedly, it can be difficult to trade in liabilities for assets. One reality is that assets are not always immediate after cancellation of liabilities. Hurt tends to be the immediate consequence. Separation anxiety is a definite result. Tough it out, though, because rainbows can be a certainty.

It is absolutely a surety that we can rise above the pain. What is vital is a heart to work through it with awareness that it will hurt but conquer we shall.

Emotional warfare is an apt way to describe it. We must purpose to do it and allow nothing and no one to impede our journeys to wholeness. GOD can show us the paths of life. His question is, “Do you want to press on to gain it?”

Recently, someone gave me declarations that, in essence, amounted to rejection of me. Gratitude is felt for that rejection because I learned that inwardly I have come to a new place. What he said was beneficial for me to know. It may, to some people, seem odd for me to express gratitude for rejection. The truth that he spoke resulted in some measures of freedom for me. Something shifted within when I digested the content of his words. That shift has been instrumental in turning some things right side up. I am thankful.

Burial of dead relationships is essential to move forward. We cannot embrace freedom if we cling to death.

In the interest of balance, I cannot conclude here without inclusion of another aspect on the matter of toxic dead relationships. Evidence supports that there are instances that the dead can live again or live where there was no previous life. Once toxic does not necessarily mean always toxic. Remedies do exist to bring the dead to life.

Happily, toxic dead marriages have been revived, healed, and restored to blissful unity. Family estrangements have gained healing. Those are glowing reports.

My experiences have also proved that it is possible to have peace in the presence of storms. Dissension has surrounded me where I had to reside, that is, relationships severed but I had to, for seasons, remain in the same physical places. I learned to go and glow in spite of it. That meant that heart disconnection happened before physical disconnection occurred. Immediate physical relief is not always attainable. What can be attained, though, is a heart set to reject attempts to discourage joyous progression. Peace can be resident in the midst of toxic dramas. Determine to sing in the rain. Escape before you leave. Leave intact. Victories are choices that begin in our hearts.

Wisely consider relationship choices. Ponder and select what is reasonable, safe and responsible. Chances are some relationships can be “saved” while others should be categorized as permanent deaths. Let’s face it – all cannot be salvaged. The better we discern and understand the differences, the more liberated we shall be as whole beings on this great planet earth.

Written Friday August 6, 2010
Revised Sunday September 26, 2010
© Copyright 2010


  1. Hi Sandra,

    Thanks for sharing a post with a topic not often discussed openly. I think the attitudes men and women have regarding Toxic Relationships are as different as the sun's distance from the moon. I don't believe we (men) consider the damaging consequences of a toxic relationship. I believe men often recognize this kind of relationship prior to entering it, but a lust for sex is the objective; not a permanent meaningful relationship. If a toxic relationship isn't sexually motivated, then it may be motivated by abusive behavior.

    In both instances, the man has no real consideration or respect for the woman (or himself) in the relationship. He is simply acting out his selfish impulses which he is driven to satisfy. This is a man who has no clear understanding of himself, his emotions and his behavior.

    There may be other reasons for Toxic Relationships but from a male perspective, I believe these are the two primary reasons; because of this, Toxic Relationships are doomed and dead from the beginning. In both instances, the absence of being spiritually healthy is what propels a man into a downward spiral of meaningless relationships.

    Some men will resort to pornography, one-night stands, recurring hookup or prostitutes as a passive means of feeding this drive within them. The truth is that like a junkie, this compulsive need can never be satisfied. It takes actual surrender to the Lord for one to see real flaws in our life.

    Although I believe the reasons differ between men and women, the results are the same; a dead and Toxic Relationship.

    I pray that anyone who is involved in a Toxic Relationship will seriously consider the wisdom you've shared in this post and honestly seek guidance from the Lord by submitting their life to Christ.

    Blessings and peace.


  2. Hi MTJ -

    Thank you...

    You made some valid and helpful points, in particular, from the male perspective that I had never considered.

    When I wrote this piece, it dealt not mainly with the male/female dynamic but relative to people, including other Christians, that the Lord led me to no longer deal with. For instance, there are people who can contaminate us with sinful conduct that they choose to continue. We can minister, pray for, lead them to scriptures, and they choose to "spin wheels." By that I mean, they have the info., scriptures, Words from the Lord, etc. but decide to ignore... And my experience was with one professing Christian in particular, that she rarely exhibited joy, she complained a lot about why the Lord had not given her a husband....This went on for about two years. Indeed, I found value in our communications...but after ministering to her for two years about loving the Lord more than her desire for a day, the Lord told me to love her but to discontinue relationship with her because she was set on her desire for a husband. Her lack of joyous demonstration in our Lord began to affect my spirit and it was time for me to move on from her because she refused to change. Maybe one day, she will....I love her and pray that she will come to love GOD more than anything or anyone....

    May GOD help us all....

  3. There was a bunch of bad years where the only thing that saved our marriage was "God hates divorce..." (Malachi 2:16) I was put through hell during that time.

    Finally my wife gave up trying and resigned herself to marriage. Whew! It took over a decade after that for her to find out that I have Aspergers and I hadn't been trying to jerk her around.

    We are gradually growing into a good relationship and out of all the sick behaviors.


Greetings -

Thank you for visiting and commenting. It is my pleasure to read from your heart places. We are all students and teachers and I so enjoy, precious people, the beneficial engagements with you.