LENGTHY ON TOXIC

Greetings -

DEATH OF TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS


How many of us are in continuance mode with relationships that are dead weight associations? I mean they add nothing to us but certainly subtract from our positive progressive journeys.


Our Lord does appoint us to minister to the dead and instructs us to be mindful that we were once dead ourselves. It is, however, crucial to be in tune with our Father to discern when to move on as the Spirit leads. My experience has been to linger too long where I should have cancelled some “subscriptions” to relationship “magazines.” Fool that I was, I remained in the “pages” well after the expiration dates. Hampered spirituality was the result when I continued engagements where I no longer had any business.


We can allow vice grips on our emotions that cause us to cling to toxic connections. Why do we cling? The reasons vary. Fear readily comes to mind. We can fear the absence of the entanglements. Granted, the entanglements are toxic but we foolishly desire them, regardless. Often, we are afraid to disengage. We have become accustomed to the presence. Inner battles rage.  We know better but are afraid to do better. What will it mean? What can replace them? Reluctance is stronger than logic.


There is hope. Undoubtedly, it can be difficult to trade in liabilities for assets. One reality is that assets are not always immediate after cancellation of liabilities. Hurt tends to be the immediate consequence. Separation anxiety is a definite result. Tough it out, though, because rainbows can be a certainty.


It is absolutely a surety that we can rise above the pain. What is vital is a heart to work through it with awareness that it will hurt but conquer we shall.


Emotional warfare is an apt way to describe it. We must purpose to do it and allow nothing and no one to impede our journeys to wholeness. GOD can show us the paths of life. His question is, “Do you want to press on to gain it?”


Recently, someone gave me declarations that, in essence, amounted to rejection of me. Gratitude is felt for that rejection because I learned that inwardly I have come to a new place. What he said was beneficial for me to know. It may, to some people, seem odd for me to express gratitude for rejection. The truth that he spoke resulted in some measures of freedom for me. Something shifted within when I digested the content of his words. That shift has been instrumental in turning some things right side up. I am thankful.


Burial of dead relationships is essential to move forward. We cannot embrace freedom if we cling to death.


In the interest of balance, I cannot conclude here without inclusion of another aspect on the matter of toxic dead relationships. Evidence supports that there are instances that the dead can live again or live where there was no previous life. Once toxic does not necessarily mean always toxic. Remedies do exist to bring the dead to life.


Happily, toxic dead marriages have been revived, healed, and restored to blissful unity. Family estrangements have gained healing. Those are glowing reports.


My experiences have also proved that it is possible to have peace in the presence of storms. Dissension has surrounded me where I had to reside, that is, relationships severed but I had to, for seasons, remain in the same physical places. I learned to go and glow in spite of it. That meant that heart disconnection happened before physical disconnection occurred. Immediate physical relief is not always attainable. What can be attained, though, is a heart set to reject attempts to discourage joyous progression. Peace can be resident in the midst of toxic dramas. Determine to sing in the rain. Escape before you leave. Leave intact. Victories are choices that begin in our hearts.


Wisely consider relationship choices. Ponder and select what is reasonable, safe and responsible. Chances are some relationships can be “saved” while others should be categorized as permanent deaths. Let’s face it – all cannot be salvaged. The better we discern and understand the differences, the more liberated we shall be as whole beings on this great planet earth.


Written Friday August 6, 2010

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