Greetings -
This was originally posted on Sunday August 8, 2010, on alternate blog www.eaglelionflame.blogspot.com which is on hiatus.
Seeking Comments Please (For those who have already commented on this, thank you)
Does anyone recall hearing much preaching/teaching about true worshippers of GOD who are married to those who do NOT serve the most High GOD and Lord Jesus CHRIST? Some months ago, one of my friends told me that her pastor preached a sermon called, “What to Do When You are Married to a Fool.” It pleased me to know that her pastor preached about the matter. My desire is that there be an increase in such preaching/teaching.
I am not presently married (ex-husband deceased) but my heart goes out to those who are married to unbelievers. That was my experience when I was a babe in Christ. It was lonely in the marriage because we were not spiritually connected. There was also a lot of pain because of hurt feelings and such.
Of course, our choices for Christ are always worth whatever we must undergo but I would like to hear more preaching/teaching for those who have to live with unbelievers. Truly, they need much help through coping with who they must live with day to day. Yes, we all have trials and tribulations but that dynamic is particularly challenging – that is my opinion.
Please help me with your comments on this.
Thank you
Hi Timothy -
ReplyDeleteDid you already comment on this?
I will send you some more snow photos just so long as we promise not to expect any right away!
ReplyDeleteMarijo
Thank you, Marijo -
ReplyDeleteIs this one of yours? I thought that I got this one from my photo gallery clip art collection.
When I post yours, I credit you. Is this yours?
No - this is not mine - just meant I could send you snow ones too and they have been sent off!
ReplyDeleteThis one is beautiful!
Marijo
Whew - thank you...I am strict about crediting people for their submissions - glad that I did not violate - though repentance would have cleared me! Thank our Lord....
ReplyDeleteI commented on eaglelionflame ....
ReplyDeleteI probably can't duplicate what I wrote there.
Marrying an unbeliever is definitely becoming unequally yoked to them. Don't think you can convert them later; that's too improbable to bet your life on.
When we marry someone we are also bringing their parents in as well. After the honeymoon is over, we tend to imitate one of our parents and he or she will tend to imitate one of their parents.
Spiritual cleanup of the fiance, their families, friends, properties and environments is an easy but necessary step.
Thank you, Timothy...
ReplyDeleteWhat are your views if you marry and you are both heathens? Later one gets saved....and the other is no where near inclined...perhaps for years or may never accept our Lord....
My belief is that more should be preached/teached on that dynamic as it has particular challenges....
By the way, Timothy, that was interesting and to be pondered what you stated about bringing the parents in and after the honeymoon, etc. I had never thought about that in the way that you expressed. Hmmm... Indeed that is important to consider and weigh. Thank you for that gem!
ReplyDeleteGood point from Timothy- when you marry someone you marry into a family, and the point about us becoming our parents is so right - I have been married 22 years and I see both of his parents in his actions and words, and I see both of my parents in me. That's a scary thought!
ReplyDelete1 Corinthians 7:12-15:
If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? 17 Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the LORD assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches."
This passage seems to give permission for marital separation, perhaps divorce, if the unbeliever so chooses. I don't know if it means that remarriage is allowed in this case. I do strongly believe in second, third, and four hundredth chances; and I am sure that divorce and remarriage is not an unpardonable sin. It has been said that many churches would be more welcoming of someone who killed his/her spouse than of someone divorced and remarried.
Of course, we should never allow ourselves the attitude of 'sin now, pray later.' We need to teach our children not to even date an unbeliever, because once an emotional (or sexual) bond is formed, they will either break up 9which will be painful) or enter into marriage or cohabitation with the unbeliever (which will likely be more painful). Either way, dating a nonbeliever is leaving God's perfect will for our lives. We know that God also has permissive will for our lives, and that He can bring good from any circumstances, but it is better to stick with making good choices the first time.
Greetings -
ReplyDeleteI am grateful for the comments about "MARRIED TO THOSE WHO DO NOT SERVE GOD/JESUS."
I know about the scriptures cited in the comments here. But what I am more concerned about is how those cope day to day living with someone who is in league with the Devil. For instance, I know of someone who had that situation. She told me that she was often torn about where to strike the balance. By that I mean the fine line between when to submit to her husband relative to his desires as a non Christian and her loyalty to CHRIST.
Of course, I know that it is clearly wrong to do anything illegal or scripturally unsound if instructed by the unsaved. But what about those areas that are not so blatant? What if the unsaved spouse wants the Christian to go to a party that caters to alcohol consumption? What if the unsaved husband forbids his wife to go to church or limits her church attendance? What if he forbids her to give to the church? Do you follow where I am going with this? I may not be explaining it well....
I also heard pastors speak about Christian women
who are too much at church and involved in Christian tasks - with the result being the neglect of their unsaved spouses.
Yes, the Christian spouse needs to seek the Lord, pray and have our Lord as FIRST.
When I was married, before accepting Christ, we were both heathens. It was difficult as a babe in Christ to deal with the loneliness and hurt of being married to a non Christian. I went to pastoral counseling and he told me to leave my husband. I was a babe in Christ, but praise our Lord that I knew that that was NOT what the Lord desired for me. I remember wishing that there was more church support for those in my position. I continue to believe that more needs to be taught about the subject matter. Support for such is not sufficient, in my opionion.
Please weigh in on this. Thank you
Hi folks -
ReplyDeleteI need more help on this one, please. Note my latest comments above.
Thank you
I would have to agree with you that Support is not sufficient. My husband isn't non Christian, but I don't see Christ in him like I did when we were first married. At this point, I've decided that if I'm to grow spiritually I'm going to have to do it without him, and I feel further, and further away from him every day.
ReplyDeleteI had a friend ask me the other day how do you cope. I told her that I have to rely heavier on the Lord for what I need, emotionally, and spiritually. I have a story that I wrote that I would like to contribute to this. I hope that's ok...
The Woman Who Starved Herself...
This is the story of a woman who starved herself spiritually, because she stopped gathering her own manna.
I wont give her a name, I will just call her woman.
Woman was pretty strong in her faith. She read the Bible every day, and prayed throughout every day. She became pretty good at gathering her portion of manna for each day. She was even known to start humming a Christian tune or two when she was working. One day, Woman met someone I will call Man. She fell in love with him, as he did with her.
A year later they found themselves walking down the isle to get married. Up until this point she was very good at gathering her own manna every day. She never missed a day. When Woman and Man got married, she decided to let Man gather her manna for her. The only problem was, Man didn't know that she was doing this. He gathered enough for himself, and she decided that they could split what he gathered. Things were ok for a while, but they were soon to change.
Woman got pregnant with Son 1. She was happy until Son 1 was born and found out that Man wasn't going to gather any manna for them anymore. So Woman wondered what to do. Woman decided to do nothing. She thought, "well, if man isn't going to gather manna anymore then I guess I will just make due with what I have, and stretch it to last me for a while." This worked for a while
Woman got pregnant with Son 2. Now there were 4 mouths to feed, and the manna was running out. She found out that Son 2 had some developmental problems that she couldn't fix, which just made things worse. What was she going to do.
Woman started to take what little she had and give it to her children. She soon became very depressed. Now she had nothing, and there was nothing left to give to her children. Woman lost all hope of regaining what she once had. Woman was desperate
.
One day Woman met Friend. Now Friend was a Christian woman who knew what Woman's problem was and exactly how to fix it. Friend told Woman to go out and start gathering her own manna. That is how it's done. Woman is now on her way back out of spiritual starvation, and she would warn anyone who asks. Never stop gathering your own manna. God didn't intend for you to get your spiritual food through someone elses labor.
Woman in this story is me. I depended upon my husband for my spiritual growth. When he stopped growing spiritually, and I saw that he was becoming starved, I didn't know what to do. I became spiritually starved myself. Friend in this story would by my good friend Susie. Thank you Susie for letting God speak through you so that I could see the importance of gathering my own manna, so to speak. I would equate manna to spending time with God in prayer, Bible Study, and praise. I am now on my way back from 16 years of spiritual starvation, and I am truly thankful. God is truly Good...!
I hear you Julie - I felt like a dried up little leaf about to be blown away. Have now been plugged in to a smaller, intimate Body of believers 32 miles from our home and it is worth the drive, each and every mile. I have to grow or die. My hubby hasn't been to church regularly in 5 years since we moved here. I am sorry for him but no longer staying home. Marijo
ReplyDeleteThat small house church is crucial. The house church's focus is the kingdom of God. The nuclear family can be inadequate to be the fellowship, since its primary focus is on multiplication. I've seen Christians gamble on the nuclear family being able to do both. I've seen them burn out a couple of years later.
ReplyDeleteThe more old nature that hasn't been dealt with the more the house church is required. However, the community can mask the lack of a heart for Jesus. That becomes very evident when the family moves out on its own.
In the diaspora from Jerusalem in the 30's A.D. they moved out as house church groups, not nuclear families.
When things go bad in America, we will move in with each other and become house church groups. The nuclear families won't have the social support to stay separate.
Dear Julie and Marijo -
ReplyDeleteI salute you both for choosing GOD over man.
What a wonderful testimony of the love of our Lord. He is so worth all that we must endure and sacrifice.
Julie: I was profoundly moved by your story. My heart moved with understanding as I too lived with an unsaved spouse.
Prayer: Almighty Father, embrace and envelop your precious children who live with the challenges of unsaved or less-than-enthusiastic about you spouses.
Father, we need Your help in reaching out to those who have those living conditions. Strengthen, dear Lord, console, comfort, and O blessed Lord, minister with Your guiding grace to those who ache. Let Your love flow to dry tears, calm fears and dissolve doubts. Magnify Your awesomeness and allow it to penetrate in areas that only belong to You.
Precious Father that You are, let joy pour from our bellies as rivers of living waters, and saturate us in Your bountiful goodness. Immerse us in Your blessed assurances.
Please prove to those who doubt You that, indeed, You act gloriously on behalf of Your faithful fervent vessels of honor.
Let us become change agents, Father, because You are the great I AM. We shall decree, "I AM SENT US!"
John 7:38 - "...out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water."
Isaiah 62:3 - "Thou shalt also be a crown of glory in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of thy God."
Hi Timothy -
ReplyDeleteI found your comments here quite compelling. Definitely something to seriously consider.Thank you.....
Pardon me for being "slow" but please tell me how your latest comment here relates to the topic "MARRIED TO THOSE WHO DO NOT SERVE GOD/JESUS."
Thank you
Thank you
You can start with a spouse who is walking as a Christian, but not dedicated to walk with Jesus. Time away from strong fellowship causes the spouse to fade, fade, fade as a Christian. That's a burden I have with my wife. If fellowship doesn't pump them up they deflate.
ReplyDeleteWe went to a church that was struggling with worldliness because it's as much godliness as she was comfortable with. The church is coming around through much prayer, deliverance and blessing. She is following suit. That's the hard way to do it, but it's working.
Thank you everyone for your encouraging comments, and the prayer brought tears to my eyes, thank you. I followed my husband down the path of luke warmness for way too long, and I am very glad that God sent me a friend that showed me what He wanted for me. I can no longer take the same path as my husband. I hope that he follows me at some point down the straight and narrow, and spiritual growth and wholeness in Him...
ReplyDeleteJulie - I told the Lord a year or so ago that I was not my hubby's "mommy" nor did I want to be and that I was giving him to His Father God and hoped they'd get this all worked out - so far I have left him there in God's hands (this time).
ReplyDeleteMarijo
Marijo,
ReplyDeleteThat's pretty much what we need to do. When we get ourselves out of the way, God can do his work. At this point, I pray for my husband, and when I feel the Spirits leading, I share with him what God is doing in my life.
Today I spoke to a woman who loves and serves GOD/JESUS, though, not fervently. Her husband will tell you that he is a Christian. His godly fruits are largely non-existent.
ReplyDeleteShe made an interesting comment to me when I told her of the desire for more support outreach for spouses who live with those who do not love and serve GOD/JESUS. She agreed about the lack of support. She mentioned that churches have Single's groups, Youth groups, Men's groups...but no groups for people who are married to those who do not love and serve GOD/JESUS. She stated that she is NOT single but she does NOT feel married.
My heart went out to her.
Lord, please help people in these lonely painful positions and lead them to do what they can for themselves with Your love, wisdom, guidance and power. Show them, please, how to "go and glow" in Your name so that others will be led Your way, Father, to seek You and the freedom, peace and joy that results from full loyalty to You.
Thank you, Lord.
Greetings -
ReplyDeleteThis was posted on this blog under two topics as it pertains in some ways to both. It is also found under the topic "GUEST PIECE REPEAT POST."
I posted the prayer shown below yesterday - Friday August 13th at 10:59 p.m. and ALREADY AN ANSWER FROM OUR LORD HAS COME. Hallelujah!
This morning, on The Word Network, I watched Pastor Henry Babers do a sermon "play illustration" about a wife who loves and serves GOD/JESUS. Pastor Babers had some of his church members as "actors." He had the props on stage - sofa, table,...
The wife and kids went to church and the husband stayed home. It had a happy ending.
It was such a joy to watch, especially after having just posted the prayer last night!
I will probably do a separate post to tell more about the sermon illustration.
HERE IS THE PRAYER THAT THE LORD HAD ME TO POST LAST NIGHT:
Father, we ask that You do what You deem necessary to pull down strongholds in those who are called by Your name. Your Word states in 2 Chronicles 7:14, "If my people which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways: then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin,..."
Lord, please teach spiritual leaders what is necessary to guide men into lives of pure hearts and clean hands. We all need such help but in particular, I beseech You, Lord, to work within men so that they can be fully Yours in spirit and in truth.
Father, there is an abundance of men who are outside of Your will. You know how to draw them, Holy Father. Please teach your faithful servants how to plant and to water so that You will provide the increase that will have root in the men who have long chosen the weak over the mighty.
August 13, 2010 10:59 PM
August 14, 2010 9:41 AM
This comment is also found on this blog under topic, "GUEST PIECE REPEAT POST."
ReplyDeleteJulie says -
This is an email I sent directly to Sandra, and I thought I would share it here, as it pertains to the topic...
Hi Sandra,
I did go back and read it. I'm just not too sure what I can add to what has already been said. I've felt alone at church for years, because my husband has either hidden in the nursery for the whole of Sunday morning, or he sits way back in the back of the balcony. Even when I sat in the balcony I didn't sit with him, because I couldn't see anything sitting there. I know that seems like I'm not in submission to my husband, because I refuse to sit with him where he is, but I just can't do it.
For a while I was toying with the idea of switching churches. The worship wasn't doing anything for me, and I was disillusioned because yet another pastor was leaving us. I prayed about it, and this is what the Lord told me. I was to stop sitting up in the balcony where I'm hidden from everyone, and everyone was pretty much hidden from me. I was to stop worrying about what was going on with everyone else, and I was to sing my praise to Him, and worship Him. If I felt the Spirit move in me, I was not to hide it, but to raise my hands in worship, and let it show etc... I've done this for the last two Sundays, and I no longer have that pull to look for another church. I think that God has me at this church for a reason, so this is where I am. Worship is what you make it.
August 14, 2010 3:37 PM