Greetings -
I believe that a major reason that the ideal family nucleus has declined is because, due to various conditions, women allow others to raise their children. It is understandable that single mothers need to work because so many fathers have largely abandoned their familial and parental duties, which includes financial provisions.
This article, though, is to ask and answer the question, “Is it GOD’s ideal for married women with children to work outside the home?” I believe not. God designed the family structure for men to be loving husbands and fathers who provide for the family finances while the loving wives and mothers handle the bulk of the household duties. I do not support, when it is not necessary, that our Lord is pleased with latch-key youth, and youth who are sent to day care while their mothers work outside the home.
So many kids misbehave because they are hurt, angry, and afraid. They are afraid of life, and its varied challenges. So often, they lack enough quality time with their parents. Many of them do not feel sufficiently loved and valued. Frequently, youth are not adequately disciplined. The best parenting cannot be done on the fly in rushed and harried states of mind. Mothers who work outside the home can be so preoccupied that they cannot ideally tend to the manifold needs of their children. In our present society, the stress levels of youth are off the charts. Unfortunately, they fend for themselves too often.
We live in a societal environment now where it is vital that mothers rethink their choices to work outside of the home. Of course, for some mothers to quit jobs is not an option. But there are large numbers of mothers who can quit their jobs to sacrifice for the well being of their children, and the overall health of the home atmosphere.
Recently, I heard a Christian wife and mother testify that the Lord told her to quit her job to become a full time wife and mother. She was not at all eager to do so. It would mean the loss of more than 50% of the household income. The Lord impressed upon her the urgency of His request. She obeyed. One thing led to another. Her husband expressed that he did not believe that they could remain in their present home with the reduction in income. He told her that he would give her four months to prove that they could remain. If she could not prove it by then they would move. Well, she did what was necessary…proved it, and they remained. It was critical to the Lord that she stay home with her child. She and her husband made the financial sacrifices to get it done. Praise the Lord!
Children develop and flourish best when they are parented full time by loving and righteous
mothers – their own mothers, and their own loving and righteous fathers who provide financially, and contribute in other essential ways. That is the ideal of GOD – our Divine Creator.
Of course, the ideal is not always possible. Our Lord can certainly compensate for what is not possible. He knows who the mothers are who cannot reasonably be at home, and who the mothers are who can.
Note: Family circumstances caused by neglect, abuse, divorce, remarriages, abandonment and other actions bring another dynamic to the mix. This article is not about that component.
Originally written November 16, 2009
Revised June 23, 2010
© Copyright 2009/2010
MOTHER'S OWN...
ReplyDeleteHi Sandra,
ReplyDeleteThe world system we live in is driven by a philosophy of those who seek to get. This is in direct opposition of God's principle of giving. Men, women, husbands, wives, fathers and mothers who are caught up in this system see no inherent problems because they are seeking that which fulfills their own happiness. Perhaps some may even think they are creating a better life for their child (-ren).
As you say, it's not always possible; other factors may be involved that impact that dynamic of a two-parent household. Some may argue that there is no guarantee that having a SAHM is better for children, but one cannot discount the positive and lasting effect a child feels when they've experienced the love, nurturing and maturation which was influenced by a parent who chose them by staying home over a career.
Blessings and peace.
MTJ
Hi MTJ -
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about the world system and the focus for many.
The last sentence in your second paragraph speaks volumes and it is, no doubt, truth....
Thank you for sharing those important words of wisdom...
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI decided even before I met, and married my husband, that I was going to be a stay at home mother. I didn't want a day care raising my children for me. That was the way I saw it. I do understand that there are mothers who have to work. When my oldest son was born, I stopped working, and have only worked for a short period of time during the 17 years that, I've been a mother. I have to say that my children did benefit from my being home during the times when they also were home. I did volunteer at their school when they were in elementary school, and I did work for the school system for a while also. The reason I worked for the school system is because I wanted to be home when my children were home, and that made it so that I was there to help with homework, and other things that my children might need help with.
One thing I might interject is that when I was at home with my children, I didn't get much in the way of interaction with other adults, which wasn't good for me. If you are going to be a stay at home mother, make sure that you are able to have that regular as possible adult interaction.
My mother started working when I was 10, and while it was something that was good for her, I think that I suffered. Not having my mother at home when I got home from school was a scary thing for me. I was a latch key child, and I hated every minute of it. I hated the idea of coming home to an empty house, or being home alone with my brother and sister, who always were doing things to try and scare me. It wasn't hard for them, because I was scared of just about everything.
I know that what I said comes more from an emotional stand point, and not a scriptural one, but I wish that more mothers could/would stay home with their children, especially while they are young.
Hi Julie -
ReplyDeleteThank you for so vividly expressing the benefits of stay-at-home moms. It blesses my soul that that was/is your choice.
Also, it is interesting relative to what you mentioned about the need for interaction with other adults. I did not think of that.
I agree that what you expressed comes from an emotional standpoint. The Lord gave us emotions to use in ways to bring Him glory. Certainly, raising children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is replete with emotional feelings. Also, I believe that it does the souls good to have at least one parent home with children. With the guidance of GOD and obedience to Him, it is a win win situation.
As for those who are unable to stay at home, of course, our Lord knows...and makes provisions accordingly.
I do believe that those who must work should be attentive to the needs of their children and not be too busy to spend quality time with them. A pastor yesterday spoke about "outsourcing" children. Some parents, he said, "outsource" their children to schools, churches, etc. to raise them. Also, some use TV/media as a baby sitter.
Some parents, when they are home, do not lovingly and effectively engage their children. When I was young the entire family regularly ate dinner together, and though not as often, breakfast, as well. Now frequently, the kids are in places in the houses/apts. and the parents in another. Quality family time is vital for healthy content lives - with GOD as First Love, of course!